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How should a new Christian pray? Do you need set prayers, or can you talk to God in your own words?

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The Bible supports both. Jesus gave his followers words to pray (the Lord's Prayer), and Israel prayed the Psalms. Scripture is also full of people talking to God plainly in their own words. What the text warns against is putting on a show and piling up words, not either way of praying.

What the text says

You can talk to God in your own words. Most prayers in the Bible are ordinary speech. David "sat before the LORD" and asked, "Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house, that You have brought me this far?" (2 Samuel 7:18). He asked short, practical questions: "Should I go up against the Philistines?" (2 Samuel 5:19; 1 Samuel 23:10–12). Hannah prayed so quietly that only her lips moved (1 Samuel 1:13). Nehemiah prayed silently in the middle of talking to a king (Nehemiah 2:4). The tax collector's whole prayer was seven words: "God, have mercy on me, a sinner" (Luke 18:13), and Jesus says he went home justified. Paul tells believers to bring "everything" to God "by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving" (Philippians 4:6). He says that even when we don't know what to say, "the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words" (Romans 8:26).

Set words are also given and used. When the disciples asked, "Lord, teach us to pray," Jesus answered, "When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be Your name..." (Luke 11:1–4; compare Matthew 6:9–13). The Psalms are a whole book of written prayers that Israel sang and prayed together. Jesus prayed them himself, even on the cross (Matthew 27:46 quotes Psalm 22:1, and Luke 23:46 quotes Psalm 31:5). The first Christians "devoted themselves... to the prayers" (Acts 2:42). Peter and John went to the temple "at the hour of prayer" (Acts 3:1). In Acts 4:24–30 the church prays together using words from Psalm 2. Jesus in Gethsemane prayed "saying the same thing" three times (Matthew 26:44), and Paul asked about the same request three times (2 Corinthians 12:8).

What the text actually warns against. Jesus criticizes praying to be seen by others, and "babbling like the pagans, for they think that by their many words they will be heard" (Matthew 6:5–8). The problem is a wrong idea of God: thinking he has to be impressed or worn down. The fix Jesus gives is not a technique. It is the reminder that "your Father knows what you need before you ask Him" (Matthew 6:8). God is approached as Father, the very word Jesus used ("Abba," Mark 14:36), and believers are given the same word (Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:6).

Practical shape from the text. Pray honestly, often and with thanks: "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful" (Colossians 4:2), and "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Ask according to God's will, trusting that "He hears us" (1 John 5:14). Pray for others (1 Timothy 2:1–3; Acts 12:5). Come with humility and turn from wrongdoing (2 Chronicles 7:14). Come with confidence, not fear: "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence" (Hebrews 4:16). The Lord's Prayer itself works as a map. It praises God, asks for his kingdom and will, asks for daily needs, asks for forgiveness and offers it to others, and asks for protection from evil. A new Christian can pray it word for word, use it as an outline for their own words, or do both.

Where readers differ

Set and liturgical prayer is a gift to be used regularly

Jesus said 'When you pray, say...' and gave actual words. Israel's prayer book was the Psalms, and Jesus prayed them. The early church kept fixed hours and 'the prayers' (the Greek has the article, which may point to known prayers). Written prayers teach beginners how to pray, keep prayer rich when feelings are flat, and join the believer to the whole church. Repeating words is not what Jesus condemns, since he repeated his own prayer in Gethsemane.

Luke 11:2Acts 2:42Acts 3:1Daniel 6:10Matthew 26:44Matthew 27:46Acts 4:24

Spontaneous, personal prayer is the main pattern

Matthew's wording 'Pray then like this' suggests a model rather than a script. Most biblical prayers are made up on the spot, short and personal: Hannah, Nehemiah, the tax collector, David's questions. Jesus warns against rote, many-worded prayer, and the Spirit helps believers who lack words. On this view, set forms can become a substitute for real conversation with God as Father.

Matthew 6:71 Samuel 1:13Nehemiah 2:4Luke 18:13Romans 8:26Philippians 4:6

Both belong together

Many Christians across traditions read the evidence as joining the two. Learn the Lord's Prayer and the Psalms as a framework and a vocabulary, and speak freely to God through the day. Scripture itself holds both side by side: Jesus prays a Psalm and speaks his own 'Father, forgive them' in the same scene (Luke 23:34, 46). The early church prays set words and its own requests in one prayer (Acts 4:24-30).

Luke 23:34Luke 23:46Acts 4:24Colossians 4:2Ephesians 6:18

The words it turns on

  • προσεύχομαι proseuchomai

    To pray, to speak to God, whether asking, thanking or worshipping. It is the general New Testament word for prayer and does not imply any set form.

    Drift: In older English, 'pray' simply meant 'ask' ('pray tell'). Today 'prayer' can suggest a formal recitation or special religious language, which the Greek word does not require.

  • βαττολογέω battalogeō

    To babble or rattle on, piling up words as if their number forced a hearing (Matthew 6:7). The word is rare, possibly imitating the sound of stammering speech.

    Drift: The KJV's 'use not vain repetitions' is often read as banning all repeated or memorized prayer. The Greek targets empty, mechanical word-piling that assumes God must be worn down, not repetition as such.

  • ἀββά Abba

    Aramaic for 'father', a warm family word used by Jesus in prayer (Mark 14:36) and given to believers (Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:6).

    Drift: It is sometimes popularized as 'Daddy'. It was used by adult children too, so 'dear Father' is closer: intimate but respectful.

  • δέησις deēsis

    A request or plea arising from need (Philippians 4:6, 'petition'), paired with general prayer and thanksgiving.

  • תְּפִלָּה tephillah

    Prayer in the Hebrew Bible, including the headings of psalms (e.g. Psalm 17, Psalm 86). The same word covers written psalms and personal pleas like Hannah's.

  • פָּלַל palal

    In the reflexive form, 'to pray' or 'intercede', used of Hannah (1 Samuel 1:10), Solomon, Hezekiah and others praying in their own words.

What the Bible doesn't say

The Bible gives no required posture, length, time of day, set wording or formula for an acceptable prayer. It does not say a prayer must end with a particular phrase, though Christians commonly pray 'in Jesus' name' following John 14:13–14. It also does not say that written prayers are less sincere or that spontaneous prayers are more spiritual. Traditions differ in good faith. Orthodox, Catholic, Anglican and Lutheran churches give a large place to set daily prayers and the Psalms. Many evangelical and Pentecostal churches emphasize free prayer. Jewish practice centres on fixed daily prayers alongside personal prayer. Some apocryphal books in the candidate list (e.g. 2 Esdras, Baruch) show prayer joined with fasting and weeping. These books are accepted as scripture by some churches and not by others.

Key verses

  1. Luke 11:1

    One day in a place where Jesus had just finished praying, one of His disciples requested, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”

    The disciples ask 'teach us to pray' and Jesus gives actual words: 'When you pray, say...'

  2. Matthew 6:5

    And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their full reward.

    Jesus warns against showy prayer and word-piling, and grounds prayer in the Father who already knows our needs.

  3. Matthew 6:9

    So then, this is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name.

    The Lord's Prayer as given in the Sermon on the Mount ('Pray then like this'), usable as words or as a pattern.

  4. Philippians 4:6

    Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

    Bring everything to God in prayer, petition and thanksgiving, in your own words, about anything.

  5. Romans 8:26

    In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words.

    When believers don't know what to say, the Spirit helps them, so no one needs the 'right' words.

  6. Luke 18:13

    But the tax collector stood at a distance, unwilling even to lift up his eyes to heaven. Instead, he beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’

    A seven-word plea for mercy is commended above a polished prayer.

  7. 2 Samuel 7:18

    Then King David went in, sat before the LORD, and said, “Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house, that You have brought me this far?

    David simply sits before God and talks to him.

  8. Acts 2:42

    They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

    The first Christians devoted themselves to 'the prayers', a shared prayer life.

  9. Matthew 27:46

    About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

    Jesus prays a written Psalm (Psalm 22:1) in his deepest anguish.

  10. Colossians 4:2

    Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful,

    Prayer should be devoted, watchful and thankful.

  11. Hebrews 4:16

    Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

    Believers may approach God with confidence, not fear of getting it wrong.

  12. 1 John 5:14

    And this is the confidence that we have before Him: If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.

    The basis of assurance: asking according to God's will, he hears.

Common points of confusion
Jesus forbade all repeated or memorized prayers ('vain repetitions').
Matthew 6:7 condemns babbling, as if many words win a hearing. In the very next breath Jesus gives a prayer to be said (Luke 11:2), and he himself repeated the same words three times in Gethsemane (Matthew 26:44).
Prayer only counts if it uses special religious language or the right formula.
Biblical prayers are often plain and brief ('God, have mercy on me, a sinner', Luke 18:13), and God is addressed as Father (Romans 8:15).
A new believer must learn how to pray properly before God will listen.
The Spirit helps believers in their weakness when they do not know what to pray (Romans 8:26), and they are invited to approach with confidence (Hebrews 4:16).
Praying longer or louder makes God more likely to answer.
Jesus rejects the idea of being 'heard for many words' because 'your Father knows what you need before you ask Him' (Matthew 6:7-8).

Sources: Berean Standard Bible (candidate verse text) · Strong's Exhaustive Concordance · BDAG: Bauer–Danker Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament · Brown–Driver–Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon · SBL Greek New Testament / Nestle-Aland 28 · Westminster Leningrad Codex (Hebrew Bible)

Discussion

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